RIP Klondike
DOB: 1999 , born alive in the Alaskan Bush Country
found dead: Dec 31, 2010, frozen solid on the bluffs of the Gunnison
Previously last seen by birth mother @ Rim Rock Marathon 2010, James M. Robb State Park.
Cause of death: Unknown.
Klondike's death is a mystery. CSI is still investigating.
Was it the cold? Couldn't have been with her protective polyester coating and remarkable insulating fleece lining.
Drunken New year's eve pre-party? maybe so. Dejected with shame and embarrassment after hearing of her birth mother rejecting her, leaving her for dead, and letting her go to "burn" after not knowing how to find home and hanging with a shady crowd? Ouch. Highly Possible.
Klondike had a great life, and that's how she'll be remembered.
As she was busy preparing to party like it was "1999" with Prince and the 6+ Billion living into new millennium, and feverishly working to debug the Y2K scare, Klondike still had time, between watching episodes of ER and Friends, to cheer on Lance Armstrong to his first Tour Victory, illegally download a few tunes on a new site called Naspter, make a new beau called "matching windpants" on My Space, and figure out how to access email from the new Windows 98 operating system instead of the PINE green screen (to email the beloved said windpants), but when windpants left her for a new busty neon number,
Ms. Jensen found a new partner. Together they adventured in Alaska.
Klondike was there to warm her, breathably (with exceptional underarm venting), while undertaking seemingly impossible athletic events across the Arctic tundra. Klondike's reflective nature became Ms. Jensen's shield, together they could accomplish what most would not dare.
Together, they gazed across the Bering Strait (since they could see Russia from there, ya know) and celebrated together as Boris Yeltsin resigned as President, leaving Prime Minister Vladimir Putin in charge.
From there their love story continued, all the way to Clifton Heights, where her camo fit right in on the ditch banks, and then on to the snooty 81507. Despite the contradictory zip code fashion sense, and comments from other 81507 residents, Ms. Jensen has been faithful, all these 12 years, with loving admiration and respect for this cloak. True love went beyond fabric.
Klondike, you will be missed and never fully replaced.
We love you.
